Talk Back – The Importance of Reciprocity in Adolescent Friendships
Spiekerman, A. M., & Rose, A. J. (2024). Associations between adolescent friends’ responses during problem talk and depressive symptoms. Developmental Psychology, 60(4), 778–790. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0001685
*This research was supported by the National Institute of Mental Health Grant (R01 MH073590) awarded to Amanda J. Rose.
Friendships during the teenage years often take priority compared to other relationships, specifically familial. Friends confide in one another about private problems and issues that appear in their lives that no one else will be able to relate to. Parents regularly minimize these discussions by categorizing them as “gossip,” but for teenagers, these interactions are their lifeline and can affect mental health. This recent study has found that different emotional responses given and received after discussing problems with friends in adolescence were related to later depressive symptoms. Clear communication with their friends can not only avoid mental health issues such as depression, but it sets a precedent for future healthy friendships.
This study included 271 same-gender friendship pairs in 7th and 10th grade from a local mid-western high school. Each of the adolescents were told to discuss a problem with their friend. The authors were interested in how the friends responded directly after the adolescent shared their problem. Responses were organized into three categories: positive/engaged, neutral, and negative/disengaged. Positive/Engaged responses from friends included the friends saying something supportive, asking questions, relating with their own experience, and giving advice. Negative/Disengaged responses included the friend minimizing the problem, changing the subject, or saying nothing at all. Neutral responses only included an acknowledgment of the friend talking or adding relevant information. Nine months after the initial interview, at least one of the teens was brought back to assess their depressive symptoms by taking a survey.
Friends that matched their energy with positive responses not only helped lower the risk of mental health issues but strengthened the friendship to allow both teenagers to feel good about themselves. Unsurprisingly, friends changing the subject or responding in silence was related to increased depressive symptoms in adolescence. Receiving silence in response to discussing their problem was particularly worrisome regarding teenagers' mental health, as silence can lead to feelings of invalidation. Also, this study brings to light the importance of reciprocity. The association between responding with silence and greater depressive symptoms was especially strong when both friends tended to respond in silence. In addition, 10th graders were at greater risk of depression if they gave more positive responses than they received. Without positive reciprocity, friendships will weaken, and a significant source of emotional support will be lost. Engaging positively with friends while getting the same positive energy back creates a healthy, non-judgmental place for teens to discuss problems and happily reciprocate with their friend.
Social support is important at any age, but it is especially essential for adolescents, as their entire world can be the friendships they’ve made. These current findings showcase how important mutual positive support and discussion is during this age, and how adolescents change as they get older. Seeing as some teenagers may solely rely on their friends for emotional support, it’s important for families and educators to understand why an adolescent may be “moody” for multiple consecutive days. Exhibiting healthy and positive conversational skills when children are young may help adolescents form solid friendships that help their mental health, rather than harm it, when they reach their teenage years.
Written by Lauren Bruck, NSF REU Intern with the Scientific Study of Interpersonal Relationships Across the Lifespan Site